When Queens Attack

So if you missed it, some serious stuff went down on Constance Hall’s Facebook page yesterday. If you don’t know who she is, Constance is a modern day hero for mums trying to get through life the best they can. She’s humorous, honest, bold and daring. She tells it like it is, she wears her heart on her sleeve and shares everything about her life raising her family with her husband, Bill. Women all over Australia, and the world, have fallen in love with her and her tales of  family life.  (And men love her too, my husband loves her page and thinks she’s hilarious.) But mostly people have fallen in love with her giving nature, her generosity towards others and her ability to put others first. Constance shares stories of inviting others into her home, of helping to raise $150 000 for a Kenyan non-for profit charity which houses girls who have suffered abuse, she posts stories of support for women doing it tough and she has created a community where people feel safe to share and are able to feel the support of others. She calls her followers “Queens”, and we love it, we can’t get enough. An army of women have even started to get crown tattoos in her following and her numbers continue to grow.

So in the past few days Constance has been doing it tough. A post on her page caused quite a stir and had some people divided, but it didn’t seem too bad. That was until Constance shared that she had been threatened as a result of the post. She shared that she had spent the night in a hotel as her and her husband weren’t getting along. It was raw and her supporters came out in force to show support the way that Constance had so many times. People were there for her, this community is strong and incredibly supportive. It’s currency is love and support. So when someone suggested we show our support with actual money, things got nasty! Queens turned on each other. It was brutal, gone was the love and support Constance had encouraged her followers to show one another. So why did it turn so nasty? One word: money.

There was a clear divide, some were happy to offer money at the suggestion that Constance use the money to take some time out with her husband, go to a nice winery and just get away from it all. But there were those who felt that that’s not what this community is about. If anything it’s the opposite, many of the women in this group have shared stories of struggles and tough times. So when this same group, with all their own struggles were asked to give money, things changed. This group was about real human stuff and it was all the stuff that modern life lacks in many ways. Constance had taught us that it was okay to stuff up, to make mistakes and to admit when you couldn’t take anymore. This was accessible to ALL of us no matter where you came from or how much money you had. Money segregates, and this was no different. It muddied the waters and people were actually hurt, they had invested in this community and it suddenly felt like a different place. Money sucks.

Constance made the ultimate Queen move and donated all of the money Rafiki Mwema, the charity in Kenya. She didn’t take it for herself, and from her recent posts all is back on track with her hubby. But the Queens fight on, the waters remain muddy. If there’s one thing we can learn from all this, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Money can’t ever replace all that good heart warming human stuff- love and support in a time of need. Just like the Queen herself has shown us time and time again.

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